With never ending work deadlines, social engagements, family responsibilities and the need for some self-care, it can feel like we're in a constant battle with time.
Learning to say no more often just might be the solution. Giving yourself some "me time" is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself. When we can simply pause, we restore, realign, recalibrate.
Why can’t I say no?
The inability to say no comes from the desire to please. We struggle to say no because we’re scared of what will happen if we do. We believe that the other person will get angry, think less of us, reject, or even abandon us.
We also like to be the “helpful” one – whether that’s at work, with friends or in our relationships. For a lot of people, it’s a big part of our identity. Having people rely on us provides us with a sense of importance. It helps us feel worthy.
As children, we find it easy to say no, so we are not born with this. While growing up we take on the belief that our needs are somehow less important than others.
The inability to say no is a form of abandoning yourself to be loved.
Finding a middle ground between yes and no is crucial, but you can only achieve that when you see both the benefits and drawbacks of saying no. Saying no can have a very positive impact on your life.
Saying no is sacrificing the part of us that wants to please others in order to stay healthy, prioritize and clarify your needs.
Here are 7 reasons to embrace the power of saying no.
1. To save time and energy
You're more likely to burn out, become sick or be under too much stress if you say yes a lot. Feelings of resentment and frustration may also arise. It takes courage to admit when you're uninterested, not willing or simply want better. So try to focus on being authentic rather than being liked and be realistic about your commitments. Saying No will cause you to take some time for yourself and rest in order to be more productive.
2. To show that you are aware of your priorities
Your happiness will be made up of the choices that you make in life. If you’re not sure about something, say no to it. If you’re hesitant because you know deep inside your heart that you’re not too thrilled about the idea, say no. Think about what is really important to you and what you want. Saying no means practicing setting healthy boundaries and gives others clarity about what they can expect from you. Once you say no, your unconscious mind recognizes that you are taking care about yourself and will reinforce your emotional well-being.
3. To stop let people take you for granted
On the contrary to popular belief, you actually own nobody anything. Sometimes, you are more respected by saying no, rather than agreeing to do a thing. When you say no, you show you’re not afraid of admitting that you don’t have time or that it’s not a priority to you. When you learn to say no, people will get to know about your wise decision making and will surely value your YES.
4. To show that you value your time
Saying no is the best tool you have for distancing yourself from negative people or situations. Remind yourself how valuable your time is, and you’re less likely to hesitate when it comes to saying no to something you really don’t want to do.
5. To give other people the chance to shine
When you say yes, you may be excluding others. When you say no, on the other hand, you leave the door open for others to step forward. When you ask for help instead of doing something you don't want to do, you give someone else the opportunity to use their strengths. This individual may be grateful and happy for the chance to step in.
6. To help you clarify your needs
Think about what it is you would like to never ever have to do again? When we are courageous enough to follow our gut instincts, we create the space for a honest, open discussion of what we do want. And the only way to get what you want is to let it be known and ask for it.
It can be tough to say no. Many of us were raised to always be nice and say yes. Learning how to decline an invitation or request without feeling guilty is an essential aspect of living a happy life. The more you master the art of saying no, the easier it becomes to fill your life with activities and people who bring you true happiness.
If you find yourself saying yes more than you’d like, or you struggle with sticking to no once you’ve said it, read this post: 8 tips to make saying no easier.