Lockdown stories.

This past week was so hard on me. I’m not a person who worries easily but the circumstances we’re in right now are daunting. The corona is keeping everything and everyone apart and I’m all about connection, real connection. Yes, I’m grateful of course for the internet but I’m truly sick of it. I want to work again! I need to earn money. I don’t care about money so much, but if you hardly have no income, it is hard. As a small independent business owner it feels like I’m drowning. I am independent because of the freedom that comes with it and now I feel like I’m put against the wall and can’t move anymore. Not knowing when I can reopen the yogastudio is hard. It gives me stress and anxiety. When I teach, I learn people to live in the moment, in the now. We hardly ever know what is ahead of us but still, right now, I can’t manage to let go. I strongly believe that we always are where we need to be and that everything happens for a reason. Thinking a lot about what I need to learn from all of this. Im frustrated, grateful, loving, hating, sad, happy, energetic and slow at the same time. I want to hug and kiss people. For me, these measures are not human, it makes me so sad. I need contact to feel alive. On the bright side, I can start my work as an esthetician again next week and I can teach yoga outside. So I can’t wait to see all my clients again! I took this picture today when I was so overwhelmed with everything I couldn’t stop crying. I then go out into nature, lie down in the grass with my favorite music in my ears, close my eyes and breathe, deep, untill it gets better. And it always does. I’m a person who minimizes my own problems because I believe others have it way worse than me. So I tend to keep quiet. When I think about all the sick people or people who lost loved ones, I even doubt if I should post this rant. But it’s how I feel and it’s genuine and valid and I’m sharing it. 💚