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Writer's pictureEline Vanoutrive

Why is it that we are feeling not enough?

More often than not, when grow up we develop the idea that we have to do something special to deserve the love of the parent.

The child morphs itself into whatever the parent wants them to be, completely abandoning its own needs. As a result, it begins to feel worthless, wrong, or unlovable, because it has the belief that, ‘if mommy or daddy doesn’t love me, then I’m not good enough.’

At a later age, we internalize that voice. That turns into ‘the voice of the inner critic,’ a voice that keeps playing the same old message like a broken record.


Our lack of self-acceptance becomes a problem when we start to invest too much energy on ‘fixing’ ourselves, instead of focusing that energy on giving ourselves love and appreciation.


That’s why it’s so crucial to come to terms with our imperfections as human beings—and learn to be happy with where we are before we head to where we want to go.


When a thought or feeling of not being enough pops up, try to become conscious of the inner critic. Become a witness of what is happening. Ask yourself the question: Is this thought really true? Can I accept myself in this moment? Try to feel it and breathe through it.

Be patient with yourself.

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